Holly & Heather’s Helpful Hint: Sometimes We Put Up Walls

by helpinghandstwins

Do you put up walls? We’re not talking about the construction, build a room in your house kind of wall, but an emotional wall. An internal wall that closes you off just a little bit. It may have been put up recently or years ago. Something sparked it, a feud with a friend, hurt feelings left by a family member, a co-worker’s demeanor. You are a little closed off toward that individual, guarded maybe. Not your complete, authentic self. Is that ok? Some would say a resounding “no!”…you have to work out that problem or bad feeling. If it’s a beef with your spouse, we totally agree. But here’s an argument for keeping up that wall: What if you’ve been emotionally hurt so many times by someone or even a situation, that you just can’t go thru it anymore? Isn’t it better to say to yourself, “I’m not going to let that person do that to me anymore”? And we’re not talking about an abusive situation where ending the relationship is absolutely necessary.  These are slights that just bring you down one too many times. So to maintain your well being in the midst of it, you put up a little emotional wall, a wall of protection of your feelings. You wish that person well, you are still kind, but you are guarded.  Trying to change a bad situation or work out a problem with someone is always the best solution but sometimes, no matter how hard you try you can’t change a person’s thinking.  So you change your own.  Maybe that makes you a little jaded, but hopefully not.  Hopefully it enables you to live more peacefully, surrounded by people and situations that raise you up to the fullness and happiness your life is meant to be.