Holly & Heather’s Helpful Hint: When to Get in the Middle and When to Stay Out

by helpinghandstwins

Other people’s battles are tricky when you are caught in the middle. When do you help mend fences and when do you butt out?  It happens to us all – a friend may speak of another friend with whom they are having difficulties, maybe a family member is upset with another family member and you want to help work out the problem.  The difficulty with that is that it’s really not your problem.  So how involved do you get?  Sometimes people just want to vent.  They want to tell you whatever’s bothering them and they don’t want any advice or feedback.  They don’t want you to solve anything, they just need to get something off their chest and then they feel better.  On the other hand, doing nothing may not sit well with you.  Their issue may be indirectly affecting you; after all, you are close to both parties.  Getting in the middle requires seeing both points of view and having the patience to let others heal with time.  If that time never comes, you will have to accept that you cannot change others, only how you yourself deal with the situation.

How does all of this translate into making the world a kinder place?  It’s simple. When you help others to get along or resolve a situation, you are a peace maker.  That’s great in life!  And when the opposite happens and you have to mind your own business, that is ok too.  You can’t solve everyone’s problems.  That means your time is free to work on something positive in your own life.  The tricky part comes in discerning which route to take.