Holly & Heather’s Helpful Hint: Compare and Despair

by helpinghandstwins

Comparing yourself to others….this is a hard thing not to do.  Comparing lifestyles, houses, how your children are behaving, jobs. Sometimes if we see a great dress on someone, we wonder what it would look like on us. If someone wins the lottery, we compare how we would spend the money and either agree or disagree with what the actual winner did.

Being twins, we have been scrutinized and compared with each other from the time we were born. “This one’s shorter, this one’s thinner, this one has a beauty mark”…it seemed that people were always trying to figure out how to tell us apart. Growing up like that, it’s hard to let the comparison mind-set go! But sometimes, comparing can mean something is better than something else. Is it better if one of us is told to have longer hair, or to be smarter?  It’s difficult not to jump to assumptions that you are inferior.  Even today and living apart, we often find ourselves comparing aspects of our lives to others or to each other.  And it’s wrong! It can lead to jealousy and hosts of untold negative thoughts.

Comparing your life, looks, wealth, anything can lead to despair or something worse: judgment.  When you look at someone else and think, “Grateful I’m not _____” you are putting down another which has the effect of temporarily making you feel better about yourself.  The long-term effect is that you can think you are better than others and this is the opposite of living an honest, humble life.

Being thankful for what we have, trying to enjoy each and every day and finding meaning in the love of our family and friends is what we strive to do.  And we hope you do too 🙂