Holly & Heather’s Helpful Hint: It’s OK to Cry

 

Terrible tragedies have occurred this past week in our world. The earthquake in Nepal, the avalanche on Mount Everest, riots in Maryland. They are events that cause immediate reactions when seen on the news – sadness, outrage, disbelief. Do you find yourself choking back tears when watching the news or reading the paper? We certainly did this week. But why fight the tears? Why move so quickly to anger or judgment or even worse, complacency. What can we do about these tragic events? Well, crying is a good first start.

For us as we are sure for many, having a good cry is the beginning of change. Making a difference in this world, however small, can start with feeling, not fighting, your emotions. What are we so afraid of? Why repress your tears? And isn’t it infuriating when someone tells you to stop crying and settle down? Easier asked than done. We are so quick to quiet a crying baby because we don’t want them to feel pain or discomfort but when we are adults, we can regulate our own feelings and attend to our own needs. Crying is part of the process for many. Just as laughing can be cathartic, so can those tears be. Feel them and allow them to spur you into action for positive change.

Holly & Heather’s Helpful Hint: Let It Out

In life, there are moments when you need to express your emotions, good, bad and indifferent. We are taught at a young age (especially boys) that you always need to put on a happy face in the world.  Don’t cry, don’t get overly excited, calm down, what will people think if they see you like that?  Of course you can’t go around the office sobbing or laugh uncontrollably in a religious setting but sometimes it is ok, even necessary to let it out, especially in the privacy of your own home.

Last week we lost another beloved member of our family very suddenly, we are all experiencing  grief on top of grief.  We call each other often for comfort and support and tell ourselves it is ok to let it out.  Why do we always feel we have to push our emotions down?  When you fully express yourself, whether it’s a fight with a loved one – in a healthy environment of course, falling down with laughter or a good cry, it is cathartic.  No one wants a moody person around all the time but allow yourself moments of emotions when they bubble up.  Get it out.  Fully express yourself.  In a little while it will pass and you will be healthier for it.

We’d like to dedicate this blog in loving memory of Jean…

Holly & Heather’s Helpful Hint: Sometimes We Put Up Walls

Do you put up walls? We’re not talking about the construction, build a room in your house kind of wall, but an emotional wall. An internal wall that closes you off just a little bit. It may have been put up recently or years ago. Something sparked it, a feud with a friend, hurt feelings left by a family member, a co-worker’s demeanor. You are a little closed off toward that individual, guarded maybe. Not your complete, authentic self. Is that ok? Some would say a resounding “no!”…you have to work out that problem or bad feeling. If it’s a beef with your spouse, we totally agree. But here’s an argument for keeping up that wall: What if you’ve been emotionally hurt so many times by someone or even a situation, that you just can’t go thru it anymore? Isn’t it better to say to yourself, “I’m not going to let that person do that to me anymore”? And we’re not talking about an abusive situation where ending the relationship is absolutely necessary.  These are slights that just bring you down one too many times. So to maintain your well being in the midst of it, you put up a little emotional wall, a wall of protection of your feelings. You wish that person well, you are still kind, but you are guarded.  Trying to change a bad situation or work out a problem with someone is always the best solution but sometimes, no matter how hard you try you can’t change a person’s thinking.  So you change your own.  Maybe that makes you a little jaded, but hopefully not.  Hopefully it enables you to live more peacefully, surrounded by people and situations that raise you up to the fullness and happiness your life is meant to be.