This weekend we celebrate Memorial Day. We remember all those who paved the way for us to live in this great country! We celebrate our freedoms and participate in community events to share our gratitude. Among the red, white and blue decorations, we have a sense of pride that we live in America. We hope to spread the goodness we know to all those we meet. Happy Memorial Day!
p.s. Happy Birthday, Mare!!
We thought it’d be fun every once in a while to do a “retro” blog – re-publish an oldie but goodie. Something we wrote years ago but found either extremely helpful, cathartic or inspiring. So here is a blog from July 19, 2012 titled “People Just Want To Be Heard and Acknowledged”:
That title is our new mantra when something is bothering us. Inevitably, there will be times in life when you will have an issue with something. Whether there’s a conflict with your spouse or a friend, if it’s something you feel strongly about, it deserves an important conversation. We like those closest to us to see our point of view. Arguing is never fun but sometimes necessary to work out problems that come up from time to time. We’re not talking about little annoyances that you can just let go but bigger issues that are really important to you. Bottling up your feelings with those closest in your life can lead to frustration and usually, after a while, a big blow up. What we’ve found is that, in general, when we are discussing a problem, we just want to be heard and acknowledged. Ever listen to someone go on and on about something and when you try to help they want nothing to do with your advice? They just want you to listen. A lot of times you feel better when you just vent whatever it is that is bothering you, even if there is no real solution. Just having your spouse, for example, really hear you and acknowledge that you’re upset about something can make all the difference. What we really crave is the knowledge that we’re being heard and that our feelings matter. Next time an issue comes up and you are speaking to someone about it, try listening, making eye contact and sympathizing with the person that is upset. It really does help to know that those closest to you care when you have a problem.
* A funny side note: Our uncle commented on this blog back then – “Huh, what…I’m sorry were you saying something?” He was always cracking us up! Rest in peace Uncle Peter, we miss you.
We celebrated Mother’s Day this past weekend with a visit to our mom’s. Because none of us wanted to cook, we all contributed a little to a “potluck” style luncheon. Many of our friends were taking their moms out for lunch or dinner and we thought for a minute on this idea too. But only for a minute. Because to us, it is so much more a worthwhile visit when you truly get to stay and linger. You can enjoy the company without waiting on a line, having an interrupting waitress, hearing the loudness of others, or the quietness when you want to be loud or talk without filtering your conversation. Even though the home where she now lives is not the home we grew up in, it still holds the same feeling because it is her place. And we create new memories of being with her every time we are there!
So we hope you celebrated your mom in whatever way was meaningful for you. Cheers to mom!! We love you, H & H
What are you spending a lot of your time focusing on? Is it something good and positive? Are they happy and productive thoughts? Or are you focusing on the negative? Why is it that a bunch of good things could happen throughout your day but that one bad thing is the one you tend to think about over and over again? We think it is our mind’s way of handling the situation, such as trying to work out a problem so a situation will get better. But what if it’s a continual problem that won’t change, should you keep focusing on it?
We say, don’t spend your time dwelling on things that are upsetting. Talk it out and then make a conscientious decision not to think about it or make a change. Too many upsetting thoughts can literally make you sick, like that headache at the end of a stressful day. You may have to deal with an upsetting problem at some point in your day, so why focus on it when you don’t have to? Hopefully you can focus on what truly makes you happy…your family, a vacation, a good show or book, tranquility and peace…
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